One Week timeline

Following on from my wildly popular (in certain circles) Ragged Robin timeline, and inspired by Ryan North's Songs In List Format¹, I hereby present a timeline of the argument² described in One Week by Barenaked Ladies.

One week ago

She:

• looked at him
• cocked her head to the side
• threw her arms in the air
• dropped her arms to the side
• said that:
  • she was angry
  • he was crazy
  • she was sorry

Five days ago

She:

• laughed at him, saying "Get that together, come back and see me"
• tackled him

He laughed at her, and said that she had just done just what he had thought that she was going to do.

Three days ago

In the living room:

• he realised it was all his fault (but couldn't tell her)
• she realised it was not his fault
• both parties realised that they were both to blame - but what were they going to do?

Yesterday

She had forgiven him.

She just smiled at him.

Today

He still has the rug burns on both his knees arising from the tackle on day three.

He sits back and waits till she says she's sorry.

Two days from now

Both parties will say they're sorry.

¹ Actually it looks like a few people did versions of this on the original thread. But I still like mine better.

² ... which we're assuming takes place between the narrator - a man - and his girlfriend.

My favourite hip hop covers

Man, if there's one thing I love, it's cover versions of hip hop songs. These are my favourite ones.

Ben Folds - Bitches Ain't Shit

Originally by	Dr. Dre
Quality of original	****	a pretty classic Dr. Dre track
Swearing	*****	tons of it
Sex	*****	also heavily featured
Violence	*****	some murder
Emotions	*****	Ben Folds really emotes like crazy on this one

Jenny Owen Youngs - Hot In Herre

Originally by	Nelly
Quality of original	?	I have not even troubled to listen to it. Why would I?
Swearing	***	a bit
Sex	*****	lots, plus extra points for being a girl
Violence	*	a lover not a fighter
Emotions	****	a goodish bit

Eels - Get UR Freak On

Originally by	Missy Elliot
Quality of original	*****	rockin
Swearing	*	radio-friendly
Sex	***	I think there's lots but the lyrics are too hard for me
Violence	*	don't think so
Emotions	**	plenty of energy but it's not like they suddenly infuse the lyrics with soulfulness

Jonathan Coulton - Baby Got Back

Originally by	Sir Mix-A-Lot
Quality of original	****	a crass classic
Swearing	*	radio-friendly, actually
Sex	*****	it is a song about bottoms
Violence	*	it is a song about bottoms
Emotions	****	JoCo sings it like he means it

Alanis Morissette - My Humps

Originally by	Black Eyed Peas
Quality of original	*	just awful
Swearing	*	radio-friendly again
Sex	*****	it is about the singer's "lovely lady lumps"
Violence	**	Alanis is quite fighty in the video
Emotions	****	tons BUT Alanis is being ironic. In fact this cover loses points for straying into 'parody' territory

The Gourds - Gin And Juice

Originally by	Snoop Dogg
Quality of original	****	a pretty popular track, by all accounts
Swearing	*****	oh, plenty
Sex	**	a fair bit, but loses points for the zz-top-ness of the singer
Violence	*	too laid back
Emotions	**	not so much

Tori Amos - '97 Bonnie And Clyde

I like Tori Amos but this is just too terrifying for me to even link to. The whole dynamic of the original is that the lyrics are monstrous but the tone is childish. Tori Amos just takes the second bit out of it and whispers the lyrics over a haunting background. Absolutely nightmarish.